Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Text me some of your sweat
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
