do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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