Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
