i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My vagina is very pro this idea
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize