Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
