nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
tell me about the fingering
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