the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
