im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
