you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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