You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
