she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
