ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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