i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
