I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize