But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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