I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
