Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
