I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
