I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
