Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
