Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
