How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
