He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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