Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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