OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize