He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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