she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
