yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
