Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
