Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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