Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Houston, we have a blender
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
