Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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