My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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