I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
