Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
