You just made me feel so damn special
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
