i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
