Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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