The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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