Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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