I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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