this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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