that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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