Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
