how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
