he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
