If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
