I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
