Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
