shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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