I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
