I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
