Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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