So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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