Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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