3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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