Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
