singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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