Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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