Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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