mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
