At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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