miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's shark week go big or go home
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
