sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
