I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
