You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
