Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i think my cat just said my name.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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