I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
